My Diagnosis

Today I went to the brain doctor. I call him that since I can’t remember if he’s a psychologist, psychiatrist, or something else. That doesn’t really matter.

I went in for my ADHD diagnosis. 

I’m 42.

Last August, I randomly came across a TikTok that talked about ADHD. For some reason, I watched. And because of that, I noticed that I shared a lot of similarities with what the video was saying.

Now, trying to assess yourself isn’t ideal but I did a ton of research over the next couple of days and came to the conclusion that I either had ADHD or something in my lifestyle caused a drastic deficiency in something that was causing me to work the way I did.

Anyways, doc says I have it, even though he doesn’t like to use the term so he prescribed something for me and I’ll be picking it up later.

I’m telling you this because it means that for the past 20 years of building online businesses, I was playing a game where I didn’t understand the rules.

If I wanted to get something done I’d tell myself that I’d just have to power through and that was easy enough without kids. Even if it took me all day to do something I could say I did it. But looking back, some of those things shouldn’t have taken all day.

Reading the advice of the productivity gurus only led to frustration because their shit never worked.

I’d watch as other people could stick to a single business, grow it, and make the money that I dreamed about. And every time I would tell myself that I just needed to try harder. Do better.

I saw a LinkedIn post yesterday by Dan Koe where he said the best business advice he could give was to go big and broad with your niche and I had to chuckle because that advice is based on survivorship bias.

He does over 6-figures a month telling people they are destined for more and that they can build their own businesses. His niche isn’t big and broad. It’s how to make money. And that’s okay.

But all of the comments felt relief that he was giving them that advice because they didn’t want to pick a specific niche or audience. They wanted to talk about a number of things.

Dan’s success isn’t because he talks about a number of things. His success attracts the man (it’s a male-centric brand) that feels like they are underachieving and he makes them believe there is a specific path to achieving success.

But if you were to take his advice and talk about knitting, raising chickens, and traveling, you’d probably fall flat on your face. It wouldn’t work.

Even worse is if you didn’t speak as the Charismatic Leader he is, you would wonder what was wrong.

You’d be playing a game where you don’t fully understand the rules.

And that’s always the hardest part about building an online business. What are the hidden rules that you’re missing that apply to you?

For example, I know with consistency that I’ll be huge in this space in the next 18 months due to the perspective I bring and my personality. But it’s silly for me to think you can match my personality. My style isn’t your style.

So I have to be mindful of the advice that I give you. If I tell you that you need to do more video and you’re doing the exact steps prescribed to you for achieving video success, but aren’t seeing it, then what?

I once had a client that I was struggling to help. She taught people about plant-based diets. Should’ve been a cakewalk to success but it wasn’t.

I’d give her the exact topics to talk about. Titles, keywords, and all of that were on point. But she wasn’t growing.

She was boring. Had no charisma. And the kitchen that she filmed in didn’t give off that healthy vibe.

Some people do video and after a while find their groove because they understand the rules of video. There has to be something to you that brings people. If you don’t have IT then you need to develop it, but most people don’t want to recognize that.

So what happens when they follow the guru’s advice for doing well on TikTok? Nothing. Nothing happens and they question whether the guru knows what they are talking about.

Understanding that I have ADHD doesn’t mean I have more or less disadvantages than anyone else. It means I’m using different equipment and I need to adjust accordingly.

Think of it like golf. Everyone is playing with the exact same ball on the exact same course.

But we each get a different club to use. Just one club.

It looks like the same club, let’s say it’s a 9-iron, but each club is made out of different material that offers varying pros and cons.

The better you understand the club that you have, the more efficient your game gets.

Each new hole on the course has the same objective, to get it into the hole in the least amount of strokes. Each hole has a different layout. The weather provides another variable.

The better you get at understanding your club, the better you can navigate each hole. You won’t always score the best, but what matters is the overall score at the end.

I want you to always remain positive about the club that you have, but I also want you to acknowledge its deficiencies.

And yes, the club is your brain + personality. Don’t hide from your weaknesses and don’t pretend they don’t exist.

Otherwise, you’ll forget those hidden rules that apply to you and the game you’re playing and you’ll have no idea how to make adjustments when necessary.

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